To Love or to Take Offense

Love keeps no record of wrong and it does not take offense.  I have heard these words from 1 Corinthians 13 many, many times; almost too many times for them to retain their meaning.  So when I was confronted with this concept, I almost blew it off as something that did not apply to me or my current situation.  After all, I knew that concept, so obviously I must be living it out, right?  It turns out that just because I know a concept, and even know it well, I may not be applying it in my own life like I should.  Imagine that.

I have recently been convicted of harboring resentment and bitterness in my soul rather than showing Christ’s love to others.  It was a slow fade of many little decisions to hold onto hurt rather than letting it go, but over time those little poor choices led to a big problem in my life.  I found myself getting upset at the littlest of things, things that would not upset me normally.  I also found myself considering certain situations to be at worst intentionally malicious, or at best just annoying.  All of this was happening internally and subconsciously though, so although I recognized that something was off, I could not see that I was the problem, not those around me.

I finally realized that the problem was with me when I went to receive counsel on how to “confront someone about their sin,” and instead received counsel of how to rid my heart of the bitterness within it.

This bitterness was a poison in my soul.  Once I allowed even a little bit of it, it spread and corrupted my heart even more.  My thoughts became haunted by this bitterness and I was consistently being robbed of my joy.  I have heard it said many times that refusing to forgive someone does not hurt that person, it only hurts yourself; I would say that harboring bitterness is the same thing.  Holding onto resentment does not punish those that you feel have wronged you, it hurts you.  Every time you interact with that person, every time that you think of that person, every time that you are reminded of something that person did, bitterness rises up and makes you absolutely miserable!

Thankfully, God gives us a way to overcome bitterness and resentment: love!  I love how the Living Bible puts 1 Corinthians 13:5:

"Love does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable or touchy.
It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong."

When we are able to focus on love, to truly, sacrificially, reflect Christ's love to those that we feel are hurting us, then bitterness and resentment will have no power over us!  Let's face it, every day we are faced with opportunities to choose love or bitterness.  We can be irritable, touchy, and easily offended, or we can let offenses slide off of us and choose to cling to joy.  It's a choice!  It is our choice.

Ever since I was confronted with my bitterness and resentment, I have begun seeing it pop up in many others' lives around me.  Usually it is in the little comments that people make about their co-workers, friends or family members.  Sometimes it is in political posts online, other times it is in discussions of racism and discrimination in the news.  but the theme throughout them all is this: people are making themselves miserable by harboring resentment and bitterness by feeling wronged and taking offense.  That's just the thing though: there is always something to take offense to.  The message of 1 Corinthians is this: we cannot control other people, but we can control how we react to them.  We have a choice to love or to take offense.

So my challenge is this: if ever I am feeling like people are out to hurt me, I must intentionally show them love.  Because if I don't, I will be the one to suffer!  I must create in myself a heart that keeps no record of wrong and does not take offense, because then, and only then, can I love freely and live a joy-filled life!