The Brave Little Soldier

I went to see the new Avengers movie the other day. It was incredible, the cinematography, the soundtrack, acting, the explosions; all of it amazing! However, there were many points in the movie where it felt like the good guys were being defeated and it reminded me of a picture that God recently put into my head.

There once was a little soldier with a shield and a sword going up

against a huge, ugly, powerful monster. God told the soldier to attack the monster. And so with all his might, the tiny soldier swings at the monster, but the monster is too big and the soldier can't even get close without having to put up his shield to ward off the monster's blows. This poor little soldier is swinging whenever he can, but not seeming to make any contact with the monster, and the monster keeps pummelling the poor little soldier's shield. The soldier is beaten down over and over again, but slowly, painfully, keeps getting back up. Sometimes it takes days to get back on his feet, some days he doesn't even manage a swing before the monster beats him down again, but the soldier stands his ground because God commanded him to fight.

All this time, the soldier is feeling more and more discouraged: the monster is no more defeated now that when the soldier first started, but what the soldier didn't realize was that every time he took a blow by the monster, he was getting stronger. His muscles were growing in the same way that they do when you go to the gym; this was just accelerated much more due to the continual strain. And all the while, God is proudly looking on as His little soldier is becoming exactly who God intended him to become. Beating the monster was never the intended outcome; God could easily swipe that monster away with a little flick of his finger. The intended outcome was the strengthening of the soldier, but it had to be done by attacking the monster. Otherwise, the soldier would not have been forced to grow so quickly, and would not have taken the time required to make that growth.

There have been so many days where I have felt like the little soldier, getting beaten down over and over again. I have felt like I am being tested constantly and failing every single day. And yet, as I look back, I see that God is taking my failures and transforming them into beautiful strength in relying upon Him especially when things look bleak and impossible.
Maybe you're going through something today that seems overwhelming and defeating, please, take heart; God is doing some incredible things. He often seems slow, but the Bible reminds us that He is not slow in keeping His promises (2 Pet. 3:9); His timing is perfect and He is at work even today!  Friends, I pray that God would bring you a glimpse of what He is doing behind the curtain; that glimmer of hope to keep going and keep fighting this hard, but good fight.

Brotherly Interview

My brother Jonah and his friend Ethan have a YouTube Show, and I had the privilege of being a guest on it this week. 

Check it out and see what things I thought I knew about Ireland and how much I still need to learn 😉

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz-EPYzv-sQ&feature=youtu.be

And if you'd like to be further entertained, 

check out more episodes of The Rando Commando Show

Relational Refreshment

Isn’t it crazy how sometimes you don’t realize how sick you are until you start getting better?  Like, when I have a cold, I don’t realize how much I can’t breathe clearly, or how foggy my head has been until I start to get better and those things clear up.  And I think that most health is like that (mental, spiritual, emotional, relational, etc.), we do not realize that there is dysfunction in our lives until we begin to see function again and recognize how far away from that we truly are.

Over the last 3 days I took a quick trip to Omaha.  I didn’t know what all to expect since it wasn’t very planned out, but I knew that I was going to get to stay with my friends Jacki and Cassie.  We have had a wonderful time together and it got me to thinking and reflecting on my life as of late.

You see, without realizing it, my spirit has been growing so weary over the last few months.  I felt myself striving and failing, and trying and seeing no progress, and failing over and over again.  As much as I would try, I wouldn’t see any forward motion and I couldn’t figure out why or what was wrong.  But over these past few days, I had an epiphany: I have been struggling with finding community that fills me up ever since leaving my job at Grace in May.  

I was so incredibly spoiled there both with deep relationships that poured into me and deep relationships that I could pour into.  These relationships were at that sweet spot where I was reaping the rewards of 3 years of investment as the RD; I had finally reached the point where I was past the initial investment of the small talk and get-to-know-you stuff.  My relationships were deep and meaningful without requiring tons of effort.

And then I left Grace.

At that point, I had to build relationships again from the ground up.  I met new people at church, I met new people at work (nannying, with TEAM, and at Sozo Coffeehouse), I met new people at Bible study, I met new people at missionary training, I met new people as supporters, and all of these new relationships required TONS of relational energy.  This wouldn’t have been so bad except that they never really grew to the point where they no longer took so much work.  And this proceeded to happen over and over again. 

I finally was starting to make some traction with some of these new relationships and then I moved to Beatrice and had to start all over again.  I had some incredible relationships in Beatrice, but I had been away for so long that in many ways I had to start over in building them up again, and again they took a lot of relational energy.  Did I mention that during all of this I have been in a season of support raising where my ENTIRE job requires large amounts of relational expenditure?  Needless to say, I have been running on less than fumes for so long and then wondering, “Why I am always exhausted?  Why do I never feel full?  Why do I never feel totally myself?”  And then these last few days happened.  I spent 3 days with 2 dear friends who expected NOTHING from me.  We have so much history that there was no need for small talk, no social requirements.  They allowed me to be myself and expend absolutely no relational energy and now I feel like I can take on the world!

Cassie and Jacki probably don’t realize how much they have done for me over the past few days because they were just being themselves and allowing me to be me in their natural environment, but God has used that simple being to transform my perspective and give me a freedom that I cannot even begin to express.  So, friends, THANK YOU!  

And for those of you out there today feeling down-trodden, overwhelmed, or not-quite-yourself, there is hope!  God is probably teaching you something through this experience, and just like every trial, it has an end. God has not left you alone in the process; He is right there with you.  And when you get to the other side, you’ll appreciate breathing clearly like you haven’t appreciated it before!