The Need for Community

God created us for community.  It is evident all throughout Scripture starting from the very beginning when God said that it was not good for man to be alone.  But why is community so important?  And why, at least at times, is it so hard?

Community, good, godly, Christian community draws us closer to God.  There is something deep inside of us, that reflects and reciprocates holiness and edification when we gather together as the body of Christ.  We can be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.  When we see our own faith lived out in someone else’s life with the nuances of another instead of just ourselves, it broadens our understanding of our own faith and helps us get a better glimpse of how big our God is.  In and of ourselves we can only know so much about God, but with the help of other believers, we get a bigger picture of God than what we would otherwise be able to see on our own.  God has distributed bits and pieces of His glory in each of our lives; none of us have the whole picture of who He is, yet each of us reflect a bit of Him.  And when we come together, those reflections form a mosaic that starts taking shape.  Will we ever get a complete picture of God this side of eternity?  No.  However, we get one step closer to that picture when we spend time with other people who are indwelt by the Holy Spirit.

Why then is community so often so difficult to achieve?  If it is so good for us, and so necessary for understanding God more fully, why is it such a challenge?  First of all, I would argue that the fact that it is instrumental in our spiritual growth is probably the number one reason that it is difficult: Satan does not want it to happen.  The devil knows that if he can separate us from other believers, then his lies can speak more loudly and the truth is harder for us to discern.  So it is advantageous for him to keep us away from community.  But secondly, community, especially as an adult, requires intentional effort.  Growing up, we were surrounded by people that we lived life together with.  In school we were with the same group of people every day.  At church and youth group we would see the same people week in and week out.  For my college years, I lived on campus at a Christian university which intensified this community even more.  Those that I saw at school were those that I also saw at church and those that I lived with.  Community was not something that I chose so much as it was a reality in which I was forced to live; it happened naturally, without much effort.  But then graduation happened.

Without dorm life and chapel and class and other daily community-driven events, there was a severe drop in community in my life.  Everyone’s schedules were different, each with different jobs, responsibilities, and commitments.  Spending time with people had to be scheduled or it just didn’t happen.  I had to be intentional to pursue time with others and that time often involved a specific event rather than just hanging out or living life together.  Not only that, but often even when we scheduled time to hang out, other things would come up and get in the way, or life would just be tiring and people would cancel.  Gone were the days of simply saying hi on the way to class or catching up about our days over lunch.  Now, getting coffee was spent chatting about work or what life event had changed since we last saw each other.  The brief discussions of what God did in the last five minutes evaporated and became the much more canned “How has your time with God been?” if that question even came up.  Suddenly, community became very difficult.

Which brings me to today.  I have recently realized how much I NEED community. This challenge to community that adulthood has brought has hindered a lot of my relationships.  Commitments, a lack of time, and distance have made living life together incredibly difficult and therefore often too hard to actually make happen.  However, I find that whenever I do get to spend time with believers who are in the same stage of their journey with God as me, I find it to be so incredible and uplifting!  Fellowship with other believers draws my spirit to God in ways that I can NEVER achieve on my own; believe me, I’ve tried.  There is just something about conversations about God and all that He has done that knit my heart to God in ways that talking to Him just doesn’t do.  I am not saying that we should only talk about God and not to Him, heaven’s no!  But just that if we only talk to God and do not talk to others about Him, then our faith becomes flat, 2-dimentional if you will.  It loses a depth that comes only through community.  God created us to get to know Him more fully through community.  I don’t fully understand why He did it that way, but I know that in order to get to know God better, I need that community.

Community as an adult is hard.  It takes a lot of effort and intentionality that many days I do not have the energy to put forth.  However, it is necessary!  I don’t have an easy solution for how to develop quality community, but only the realization that it is worth the effort.

To Love or to Take Offense

Love keeps no record of wrong and it does not take offense.  I have heard these words from 1 Corinthians 13 many, many times; almost too many times for them to retain their meaning.  So when I was confronted with this concept, I almost blew it off as something that did not apply to me or my current situation.  After all, I knew that concept, so obviously I must be living it out, right?  It turns out that just because I know a concept, and even know it well, I may not be applying it in my own life like I should.  Imagine that.

I have recently been convicted of harboring resentment and bitterness in my soul rather than showing Christ’s love to others.  It was a slow fade of many little decisions to hold onto hurt rather than letting it go, but over time those little poor choices led to a big problem in my life.  I found myself getting upset at the littlest of things, things that would not upset me normally.  I also found myself considering certain situations to be at worst intentionally malicious, or at best just annoying.  All of this was happening internally and subconsciously though, so although I recognized that something was off, I could not see that I was the problem, not those around me.

I finally realized that the problem was with me when I went to receive counsel on how to “confront someone about their sin,” and instead received counsel of how to rid my heart of the bitterness within it.

This bitterness was a poison in my soul.  Once I allowed even a little bit of it, it spread and corrupted my heart even more.  My thoughts became haunted by this bitterness and I was consistently being robbed of my joy.  I have heard it said many times that refusing to forgive someone does not hurt that person, it only hurts yourself; I would say that harboring bitterness is the same thing.  Holding onto resentment does not punish those that you feel have wronged you, it hurts you.  Every time you interact with that person, every time that you think of that person, every time that you are reminded of something that person did, bitterness rises up and makes you absolutely miserable!

Thankfully, God gives us a way to overcome bitterness and resentment: love!  I love how the Living Bible puts 1 Corinthians 13:5:

"Love does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable or touchy.
It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong."

When we are able to focus on love, to truly, sacrificially, reflect Christ's love to those that we feel are hurting us, then bitterness and resentment will have no power over us!  Let's face it, every day we are faced with opportunities to choose love or bitterness.  We can be irritable, touchy, and easily offended, or we can let offenses slide off of us and choose to cling to joy.  It's a choice!  It is our choice.

Ever since I was confronted with my bitterness and resentment, I have begun seeing it pop up in many others' lives around me.  Usually it is in the little comments that people make about their co-workers, friends or family members.  Sometimes it is in political posts online, other times it is in discussions of racism and discrimination in the news.  but the theme throughout them all is this: people are making themselves miserable by harboring resentment and bitterness by feeling wronged and taking offense.  That's just the thing though: there is always something to take offense to.  The message of 1 Corinthians is this: we cannot control other people, but we can control how we react to them.  We have a choice to love or to take offense.

So my challenge is this: if ever I am feeling like people are out to hurt me, I must intentionally show them love.  Because if I don't, I will be the one to suffer!  I must create in myself a heart that keeps no record of wrong and does not take offense, because then, and only then, can I love freely and live a joy-filled life!

Life is a Journey that Requires Reflection

Reflection.  In a culture that is fast-paced and stops for nothing, it is so difficult to take a step back and reflect.  But oh, the things that we may miss if we never slow down and reflect on the wonders of life!  God has blessed me with so many incredible opportunities, people, situations, and things, yet when I fail to slow down and reflect upon these blessings, I fail to fully enjoy the superb life that He has given me.  I get distracted by the worries and cares of everyday life and I lose sight of the beautiful picture that God is painting in my story and journey with Him.  Taking time to be still and reflect helps me to think deeply about life rather than just going through the motions.  

I hope that this blog will help me to slow down and think deeply about life and God's goodness throughout it.  And in the process of this reflection, I hope also to reflect the love and encouragement of Christ to whomever may read these thoughts.  Thank you for joining me on this journey!